Dance With Me

“Dance With Me” by The Morning Of

I love this song. But:

“I’ll let you go to my head cuz my heart can’t handle, my heart can’t handle it.”

How many times do I do that to God? I make him a head thing instead of a heart thing. I can’t bear the implications that He presents to me. He, God, Always-loving, Always-forgiving, the All-Powerful, the Commander of Angels, Glorious, Encompassing, Artistic, Panoptic, Imperial, Unpronounceable. YHWH.

I can’t accept it. The fact that HE loves me. Me? More than anything? And forgives me? Truly forgives me? I belong on some barren city streets. I don’t know why you waste your time on me…

[But,] God whispers, [let me just have one dance. Just one. And you won’t feel anything that pulls you down. Gravity will release you.]

No! My heart can’t handle that. It would tear apart, be overwhelmed. So instead, I let God go to my head. I fit him into another compartment in my mind. I make my knowledge of him purely intellectual.

God’s just another philosopher, not my lover.

I’ll let you go to my head cuz my heart can’t handle, my heart can’t handle it.

[Andrew, you know I’m a hopeless romantic. My first miracle was at a wedding. The end of history will arrive with a wedding- between the Lamb and the Church. I’m head over heals in love with you and I refuse to give up.]

I know that. Really, I do. But if I felt that, really felt it…life would be so different. I would be so different.

So I’ll let you go to my head cuz my heart can’t handle, my heart can’t handle it.